Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: LEAH NANAKO WINKLER (Team C)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Leah Nanako Winkler is a playwright and founding member of Everywhere Theatre Group. Plays include Happy Dance Dance Princess Show (The Brick), Formula Play (HERE), The Internet (IAP), and, co-written with Teddy Nicholas: A Pale Horse (short form and the Ontological), DEAD PEOPLE (3LD), Magic Futurebox (writer for FORTH arranged by Tommy Smith), and most recently Flying Snakes @ Ars Nova Ant Fest and The Brick. She’s also presented work at Ensemble Studio Theater, little theater @ Dixon Place, Wings Theater and venues in Philly, Ft.Lauderdale Indianapolis and Washington, DC. Terra Nova Collective Groundbreakrs alum, current member of youngblood. www.leahwinkler.org.

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is ANYONE because YAY.
2. I think that theater in this country needs more EXPERIMENTATION/TRUST and less COMPLACENCY.
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be MUFASA from THE STAGE ADAPTATION OF THE LION KING because LIONS.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of SOME FAMOUS AVANT GARDE PLAYWRIGHT and A TRASHY TV SHOW LIKE THE BACHELORETTE.
   
   
5. At times I HANG at MCDONALDS between REHEARSALS enforcing SOCIAL bathysphere PROVING collateral DAMAGE for MYSELF and also CUSTOMERS in case of DEALING dandelions SEEDS for profit.
   
   
6. HOPE Dainty Cadaver WINS.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is ILOVEYOU.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: ROGER NASSER (Team B)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Roger Nasser is extremely excited to be a part of the awesomeness that is Dainty Cadaver! He has appeared in many shows at The Brick – most recently in Roger Nasser Is The One Man Ten Minute The Crucible and the The Bubble Of Solace – where he is also House Manager. He has written and directed the short horror film Leviticus 26 and also has written for 8 Minute Musicals and Raw Impressions. He is currently working on the next installment of the Roger Nasser Is… series and a film script titled The Lunch Mothers. He also makes awesome gourmet treats for his little company Roger’s Crispie Treats! – Find it on Facebook! Yay Dainty Cadaver!!!!!!

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is PLAUTUS because HE NEVER GOT THE “COMMERCIAL HIT” HE DESERVED.
   
   
2. I think that theater in this country needs more INTEGRITY and less GIMMICK
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be JEAN VALJEAN because WHY THE HELL NOT.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of BERNARD and FARIDA NASSER.
   
   
5. At times I SCOFF at PEOPLE THAT CAN’T DECIDE between QUASI- enforcing NO SMOKING IN THE bathysphere OR USING collateral DAMAGE for PERSONAL GAIN and also KNOW THAT in case of EMERGENCY dandelions CAN BE SOLD for profit.
   
   
6. RISE UP! Dainty Cadaver RISE UP AND ENTERTAIN THE MASSES.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is I LIKE CARBS. A LOT.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: ADAM SZYMKOWICZ (Team B)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Adam Szymkowicz’s plays have been produced throughout the U.S., and in Canada, England, The Netherlands, Germany and Lithuania. They are published by DPS and Samuel French. Adam studied playwriting at Columbia and Juilliard and is a two-time Lecomte du Nouy Prize winner, a member of the Dramatists Guild, Writer’s Guild of America, Primary Stages’ Dorothy Strelsin New American Writer’s Group, MCC Playwright’s Coalition and was a founding member of the Ars Nova Play Group. He was in residence at the William Inge Center and The Chance Theater and was commissioned by South Coast Rep. www.adamszymkowicz.com.

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is SHAKESPEARE because HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
   
   
2. I think that theater in this country needs more FREE ART and less RELIGION IN SCHOOLS.
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be PUCK because SHAKESPEARE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of MY PARENTS, BUT THEY WOULD BE WRONG.
   
   
5. At times I SCOFF at ELEGANT DESIGN between CROSS GUARD enforcing RADICAL bathysphere LOST collateral PINING for SUSTENANCE and also HOPE in case of ANGRY dandelions BUSKING for profit.
   
   
6. AIN’T ME Dainty Cadaver PALAVER.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is HOW BEST TO PURCHASE MY PLAYS.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: JOSHUA CONKEL (Team A)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Joshua Conkel is a playwright, culture vulture and Navy brat who hails from Washington State. He is the author of MilkMilkLemonade (Best Off Off Broadway Show of 2009-NY Press, published by Playscripts), The Chalk Boy (Published by Original Works Publishing), Lonesome Winter (co written with Megan Hill), The Sluts of Sutton Drive and I Wanna Destroy You, as well as countless short plays. Conkel’s work has been seen all over the country as well as internationally and has been developed by The Management, Soho Rep, Ensemble Studio Theatre, Old Vic, Dixon Place, The Flea and more. He is the Co-Artistic Director of The Management, and a member of Ensemble Studio Theatre, The Soho Rep Writers/Directors Lab, TOSOS and The Dramatists Guild.

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is NICKY SILVER because HE’S A TOUGH, FUNNY QUEEN WHO CAN MAKE FUN OF ANYBODY AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
   
   

2. I think that theater in this country needs more GUTS and less BRAINS.
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be STANLEY KOWALSKI because THEN I COULD KILL HIM.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of JOHN WATERS and SARAH KANE.
   
   
5. At times I LAUGH at CAMEL TOES between VAGINAL LIPS enforcing PATRIARCHAL IDEALS IN A bathysphere MADE OF collateral IN-JOKES for ABORTIONS and also I FLAXSEED in case of RAPIST dandelions SELLING TIMESHARES for profit.
   
   
6. FUCK Dainty Cadaver SO HARD.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is I AM A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: TIM ERRICKSON (Team C)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Tim Errickson is the Artistic Director of Boomerang Theatre Company. His play Endless Summer Nights premiered with Boomerang in September 2010, and was a “Pick of the Week” by nytheatre.com. Previous Boomerang credits include directing productions of Fenway, Burning The Old Man (6 NYIT Nominations, including Outstanding Direction) and Stoppard Goes Electric. Other recent directing credits include The Desk Set for Retro Productions (6 NYIT Nominations including Outstanding Production), Brad Fraser’s Unidentified Human Remains and the True Nature of Love, Racine’s Phaedre, Jamie Pachino’s Famous for Fifteen Years, Michael Weller’s Moonchildren (OOBR Award for Outstanding Production) and Brian Smallwood’s The Wedding Play.

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is NILS STEBOYIK because HE’S A COMPLETELY FICTIONAL PERSON.
   
   
2. I think that theater in this country needs more KEG STANDS and less EVERYTHING ELSE.
   
   
3. if I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be ASTROV from UNCLE VANYA because HE’S SORT OF BADASS.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN STEVE AUSTIN and HOWARD DEAN.
   
   
5. At times I ______________ at ______________ between ______________enforcing ______________ bathysphere ______________ collateral ______________for ______________and also ______________ in case of ______________ dandelions ______________ for profit. (WHO CAME UP WITH THIS? THIS LOOKS LIKE PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE ON ACID.)
   
   
6. I LOVE Dainty Cadaver SO MUCH, I WOULD NOT TRY FOR SECOND BASE ON THE FIRST DATE. RESPECT, YA’LL.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL. IT EXPLAINS A LOT.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: TEMAR UNDERWOOD (Team B)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Temar Underwood is the founder and artistic director of I MEAN! Productions. As a playwright, his play Leak had its world premiere in 2009 at The Wings Theatre and his play The Lady Drug Dealer and the Heist had its world premiere at the New York International Fringe Festival this past August. Both plays were selected and published to indietheaternow.com, a digital library of American indie plays. His episodic play, The Ghost of Henderson Manor, was the curtain jerker (look it up!) as part of the 2010-2011 Vampire Cowboys’ Saturday Night Saloon Series. Look for his newest play, Breaking Kayfabe, to debut soon. Temar was honored to be a NYTheatre.com 2011 Person of the Year. www.temarunderwood.com

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is AUGUST WILSON because I FEEL LIKE BEING STEREOTYPICAL.

2. I think that theater in this country needs more MUSIC and less JUKEBOX MUSICALS.
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3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be IAGO because HE’S THE BEST VILLAIN EVER, AND WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD VILLAIN?

4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of TINA TURNER and LEON (THE BLACK GUY IN THE MADONNA “LIKE A PRAYER” VIDEO).

5. At times I SCREAM at ALIENS between TENNIS SETS enforcing RICKETY bathysphere POEMS OF collateral FUNCTION for MY GRANDMA and also MY COUSIN in case of ENCOUNTERING dandelions THAT ARE NOT for profit.

6. I LOVE Dainty Cadaver FOR BEING SEXY AND MUSTY AT THE SAME TIME.

7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is THAT I RULE ALL THE FOLLOWS.

Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: NAT CASSIDY (Team C)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Nat Cassidy is an award-wining actor, playwright, and director, and a sandwich-winning musician. His plays include Any Day Now (winner, NYIT Award for Outstanding Lead Actress, 2009), The Reckoning of Kit & Little Boots (winner, NYIT Award for Outstanding Full-Length Script, 2009), The Eternal Husband ("Amazing, unforgettable, absolutely electrifying," Joe Franklin, Bloomberg Radio), and I Am Providence (winner, NYIT Award for Outstanding Solo Performance, 2011). He was recently named one of NYTHEATRE's People of the Year for 2011 and, most importantly, finally updated his website: natcassidy.com

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is ANDREW LLOYD WEBER because HE REALLY *GETS* ME, YOU KNOW?
   
   
2. I think that theater in this country needs more COMFORTABLE CHAIRS and less SPRINKLER SYSTEMS WITH FLESH-DISSOLVING SPIDER VENOM.
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be JESUS because THE JEWS CONTROL THE MEDIA (PLUS I OWE HIM ONE AFTER THAT INCIDENT DURING MY HAFTARAH PORTION).
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of CHARLES LINDBERGH and A TWIN-SIZED MATTRESS PAD, THESE PEOPLE ARE OBVIOUSLY ON ANGEL DUST AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED.
   
   
5. At times I SNEEZE at RHEA PERLMAN between FONDLING GRAPES enforcing THE GREEK LETTER MU bathysphere AND TOM CRUISE IN collateral SHUT THE DAMN DOOR for YOUR MOTHER’S SAKE and also UNCTUOUS UNCTIONS in case of RASH dandelions CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY for profit.
   
   
6. THE OPPOSITE OF Dainty Cadaver ISN’T HATE, IT’S APATHY.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.