Dainty Cadaver Playwright Profiles: LAURA NONI ROHRMAN (Team A)

This week, we're running a series of profiles of the playwrights for Piper McKenzie's Dainty Cadaver 2012, in which they fill in the blanks in a number of outlandish and unhelpful statements we have provided.

Laura Noni Rohrman is the author of several full-length plays, including Reporter Girl (A Princess Grace Finalist, O’Neill Festival semi-finalist and Weissberger Award nominee). Her many dark comedic one-acts have been produced all over town (NYC) and abroad. Laura is a graduate of The New School for Drama’s MFA program and a member of the Dramatist Guild. http://www.laurarohrman.com

1. The playwright whose work I’d most like to continue in my own words is MAMET because I SIMPLY COULDN’T, AND IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF I TRIED.
   
   
2. I think that theater in this country needs more PIPER MCKENZIE and less ZOE KAZAN.
   
   
3. If I could steal one character from another play and put them in my own play, it would be HARPER from ANGELS IN AMERICA because SHE’S SO TRIPPY.
   
   
4. Some would describe me as the bastard love child of A SEAL and A SEA HORSE.
   
   
5. At times I STARE at MY DAUGHTER between GIVING HER DISCIPLINARY ACTIONS AND enforcing RULES... HMMMMM – bathysphere! WHATEVER THE (BLANK) THAT IS. I LOOKED IT UP AND GOT ANNOYED BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN WHAT IT MEANT. NICE. ABOUT ALL THAT YEAH – collateral DAMAGE FOR PROFIT AND ALSO NOT for profit. In case OF EMERGENCY – dandelions, DO SNIFF THEM.
   
   
6. DAMN Dainty Cadaver KICKED MY ASS.
   
   
7. The one thing I think it’s important for audiences to know about me is I’M ALWAYS HAPPY WHEN I’M FORCED TO WRITE. THANK YOU, JEFF.